Get ready to kill some Nazis in Blazkowicz’s glorious return to castle Wolfenstein in the prequel “Wolfenstein: The Old Blood”. Everybody’s favorite sociopathic Nazi killing nightmare William “B.J.” Blazkowicz is back and he’s got a whole new game for you to feel like a god damn patriot about. The prequel to “Wolfenstein 3D” “Wolfenstein: The Old Blood” takes place shortly before the events of its predecessor and has B.J. infiltrating the monolithic castle Wolfenstein to retrieve a secret file and confront devious Nazi occultist Helga Von Shabbs.

It’s hard to describe how amazing this game is. Bethesda and Machine Games have taken the things that were great about “Wolfenstein 3D” and turned it up to 11. Considering that “Wolfenstein 3D” was already turned up to 11 we’ll just call this a 12. How, you ask, can a game be turned up to 11 much less 12? Because B.J. f***ing Blazko that’s why! This game is so badass it tells math to go screw itself and shoves a grenade up statistic’s ass, before jumping backwards out of an exploding helicopter both middle fingers raised and screaming “AMERICA!”
Who’s ready to kill some Nazis?

Let’s start with combat because, let’s be honest, you’re going to be spending a lot of time in it. Killing Nazis has never been so satisfying. The sheer diversity of Wilhelm screams is honestly enough to keep the game moving. The game is basically a sound board for comedically awesome death sounds. Just point and click and “WUAHHHH!” Couple that with some fantastic visual polish and copious amounts of blood and viscera and even if the gameplay sucked, which it doesn’t, you would still have a merry old time wading through the nazi hordes. The same weapons from the previous games show up with the addition of some new ones, namely a single shot grenade launcher pistol that is devilishly fun to use.

There are few games out there that truly make you as a player feel like a badass. This is one of them. The sheer volume of things designed to kill you that the game dishes out is staggering. From cybernetically enhanced super dogs to cybernetically enhanced super soldiers, this game has it and will not hesitate to use it, all of it, at the same time, while you are locked in a room full of explosives, in a crumbling castle ruin. This isn’t your grandma’s FPS, this is the kind of FPS that you will get PTSD and war flashbacks from.

B.J. is as compelling a character as ever and always serves as a good source of comedy simply by being himself. Classic all American all-star B.J. will reliably tell the enemy exactly where he can stick his ideals and exactly where he’ll stick the barrel of his shotgun when he gets out of whatever contrived death machine they have him strapped into.

Get this game and play it. If you liked “Wolfenstein 3D” you’ll love this. If you didn’t like “Wolfenstein 3D” then go find a Nazi scientist to give you a lobotomy and some behavioral reprocessing until you do and then get this game and play it. It’s worth it.